Monruttcemyarpombiss is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, fussy crab.

Monruttcemyarpombiss created the world eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Monruttcemyarpombiss, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Monruttcemyarpombiss, he will cry a lot.

Monruttcemyarpombiss' most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Monruttcemyarpombiss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat peanuts.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Worship no other gods but Monruttcemyarpombiss.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.