Wapkan is a god.
She takes the form of a planet-sized, weak
giraffe.
Wapkan created the universe five trillion years ago.
If you believe in
Wapkan, she will grant your every wish.
If you do not believe in
Wapkan, she will turn you into a giant snail.
Wapkan's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.
Wapkan's Holy Commandments1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.
2. Never eat green fruit.
3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.
4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.
5. Never feed peanuts to hamsters while wearing dresses.