Tindapgab Hadfodjarn is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, self-confident dryad.

Tindapgab Hadfodjarn created vertebrates three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tindapgab Hadfodjarn, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tindapgab Hadfodjarn, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Tindapgab Hadfodjarn's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Tindapgab Hadfodjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Tindapgab Hadfodjarn.

2. Never wear purple scarves.

3. Never talk about special relativity near sheep while wearing indigo boots.

4. Never go into fawn rooms.

5. Never think ill of sick seals.