Ortwitrap is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, overgenerous dolphin.

Ortwitrap created the Large Magellanic Cloud two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortwitrap, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Ortwitrap, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Ortwitrap's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Ortwitrap's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear purple.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not dye your hair violet.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.