Wankambell is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, selfish dingo.

Wankambell created gold eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Wankambell, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Wankambell, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Wankambell's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Wankambell's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured eagles.

2. Never run in the presence of nematodes.

3. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Wankambell.