Lenmiskop Quamfadsig is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, confident narwhal.

Lenmiskop Quamfadsig created life three million years ago.

If you believe in Lenmiskop Quamfadsig, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Lenmiskop Quamfadsig, she will destroy your favourite star.

Lenmiskop Quamfadsig's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Lenmiskop Quamfadsig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity near badgers while wearing blue coats and balancing five carbon spheres on your hands.

2. Never talk about goats.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Do not chop down trees.