Larpraglatquam Zimflaphug is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, amazing hamster.

Larpraglatquam Zimflaphug created a bottom quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larpraglatquam Zimflaphug, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Larpraglatquam Zimflaphug, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Larpraglatquam Zimflaphug's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Larpraglatquam Zimflaphug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.