Fudbamgumjon Popstankin is a god.

She takes the form of a small, irritating shark.

Fudbamgumjon Popstankin created Asia four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fudbamgumjon Popstankin, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Fudbamgumjon Popstankin, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Fudbamgumjon Popstankin's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Fudbamgumjon Popstankin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Hide from black nematodes for they are unholy.

4. Always help swans in need.

5. Do not listen to music.