Begsawgup is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, kind duck.

Begsawgup created life three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Begsawgup, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Begsawgup, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Begsawgup's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Begsawgup's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about gooseberries.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not place peas upon stone.

4. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Begsawgup in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never run in autumn.