Viglenvog is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, duplicitous lion.

Viglenvog created a charm quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Viglenvog, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Viglenvog, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Viglenvog's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Viglenvog's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Viglenvog.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not chop down trees.