Rulxemquaf is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, fast troll.

Rulxemquaf created the cosmos two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rulxemquaf, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Rulxemquaf, he will send minions to preach to you.

Rulxemquaf's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Rulxemquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never go into black rooms.

3. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Learn six new languages a year.

5. Always help swans in need.