Gaddunnib is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, smart tortoise.

Gaddunnib created viruses eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gaddunnib, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gaddunnib, he will refuse to believe in you.

Gaddunnib's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Gaddunnib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about spinach.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never hurt voles.

5. Do not kill dogs.