Afjatcipzak is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, awesome cat.

Afjatcipzak created a charm quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Afjatcipzak, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Afjatcipzak, she will come to you in dreams.

Afjatcipzak's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Afjatcipzak's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Afjatcipzak.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never hurt goats.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Do not commit murder.