Gabtanpib Narlhogpid is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, humorless wolf.

Gabtanpib Narlhogpid created viruses nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gabtanpib Narlhogpid, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gabtanpib Narlhogpid, he will turn you into a worm.

Gabtanpib Narlhogpid's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Gabtanpib Narlhogpid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always help sharks in need.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not take Gabtanpib Narlhogpid's name in vain.