Sawlidkam is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, ruthless pigeon.

Sawlidkam created a photon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sawlidkam, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Sawlidkam, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Sawlidkam's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Sawlidkam's Holy Commandments

1. Mice are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Retreat if five porpoises approach from the north.

3. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.

4. Never feed lots of oranges to capybaras while wearing yellow shorts.

5. Sawlidkam loves birds, so they must be honoured.