Bugnilnut Pibpopyim Jarnkamyim is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, unselfish crane.

Bugnilnut Pibpopyim Jarnkamyim created the planet Saturn nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bugnilnut Pibpopyim Jarnkamyim, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bugnilnut Pibpopyim Jarnkamyim, he will destroy your home solar system.

Bugnilnut Pibpopyim Jarnkamyim's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Bugnilnut Pibpopyim Jarnkamyim's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Bugnilnut Pibpopyim Jarnkamyim.

2. Do not hurt squirrels.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

4. Never leap in holy places.

5. Fast once a month.