Largcangun Dusspangfum Bat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, contented rhinoceros.

Largcangun Dusspangfum Bat created a charm quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Largcangun Dusspangfum Bat, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Largcangun Dusspangfum Bat, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Largcangun Dusspangfum Bat's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Largcangun Dusspangfum Bat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill goats.

2. Never think about photosynthesis.

3. Never hurt bats.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never eat green fruit.