Vegbinhab Quatbaflen Gedquillfon is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, loving alligator.

Vegbinhab Quatbaflen Gedquillfon created the Cigar Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Vegbinhab Quatbaflen Gedquillfon, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vegbinhab Quatbaflen Gedquillfon, he will turn you into a goat.

Vegbinhab Quatbaflen Gedquillfon's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Vegbinhab Quatbaflen Gedquillfon's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never feed beans to great tits while wearing jumpers.

4. Always help cats.

5. You must pray to Vegbinhab Quatbaflen Gedquillfon nine times a day.