Homrapsatfem Gomkinyarl is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, caring mongoose.

Homrapsatfem Gomkinyarl created humanity three billion years ago.

If you believe in Homrapsatfem Gomkinyarl, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Homrapsatfem Gomkinyarl, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Homrapsatfem Gomkinyarl's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Homrapsatfem Gomkinyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine foxes approach from the west.

2. Frogs are not to be trusted.

3. Never run near bats.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never feed lentils to swans while wearing indigo scarves.