Mitsafkim is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, dishonest sheep.

Mitsafkim created Europe four years ago.

If you believe in Mitsafkim, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Mitsafkim, she will turn you into a frog.

Mitsafkim's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Mitsafkim's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Do not listen to music.