Bedtif is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, emotional mole.

Bedtif created the Small Magellanic Cloud two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bedtif, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bedtif, she will turn you into a sheep.

Bedtif's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Bedtif's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not kill dogs.

3. Always obey Bedtif's priests.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bedtif.

5. Do not commit murder.