Wiktalvog Betlabfed is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, selfish bat.

Wiktalvog Betlabfed created the planet Venus two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wiktalvog Betlabfed, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Wiktalvog Betlabfed, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Wiktalvog Betlabfed's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Wiktalvog Betlabfed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your feet.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

4. Never speak the names of planets aloud.

5. Do not sit at mountains.