Tabtipquim is a god.

It takes the form of a large, omnipotent crow.

Tabtipquim created the planet Venus three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tabtipquim, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tabtipquim, it will boil you in a big pot.

Tabtipquim's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Tabtipquim's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never think about enzymes.

5. Never think about spacetime near foxes while wearing indigo shoes and balancing nine copper spheres on your legs.