Zencatsasdib is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, vain slug.

Zencatsasdib created a top quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Zencatsasdib, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Zencatsasdib, she will turn you into a tree.

Zencatsasdib's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Zencatsasdib's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zencatsasdib.

2. Do not leap in public.

3. Hide from red bats for they are unholy.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not speak about parsnips.