Nurttonzim is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, wise salamander.

Nurttonzim created the Sombrero Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurttonzim, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nurttonzim, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Nurttonzim's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Nurttonzim's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nurttonzim.

4. Run away if seven horses approach from the east.

5. Do not keep four birds in a large pit.