Hogkonbag is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, charitable shrew.

Hogkonbag created a down quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hogkonbag, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Hogkonbag, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Hogkonbag's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Hogkonbag's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Hogkonbag eight times a day.

2. Never think ill of sick ants.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Worship no other gods but Hogkonbag.

5. Retreat if four voles approach from the north.