Xuchitdab Wabwikvonk Ponfabvan is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, clever wasp.

Xuchitdab Wabwikvonk Ponfabvan created viruses six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuchitdab Wabwikvonk Ponfabvan, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Xuchitdab Wabwikvonk Ponfabvan, it will strike you with lightening.

Xuchitdab Wabwikvonk Ponfabvan's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Xuchitdab Wabwikvonk Ponfabvan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

3. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.

4. Do not shave your arms.

5. Never wear mauve tights.