Jopcidpom is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, staggering unicorn.

Jopcidpom created dark matter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopcidpom, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jopcidpom, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Jopcidpom's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Jopcidpom's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

2. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never think ill of sick manatees.