Dunpaktit is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, proud jackal.

Dunpaktit created the Small Magellanic Cloud six million years ago.

If you believe in Dunpaktit, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Dunpaktit, he will refuse to believe in you.

Dunpaktit's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Dunpaktit's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never think about dark matter near cats while wearing magenta rings and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your head.

3. Never think about enzymes.

4. Never point your face toward the west during prayer.

5. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.