Barnbonkvab is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, duplicitous zebra.

Barnbonkvab created the planet Earth three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Barnbonkvab, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Barnbonkvab, it will think nothing of it.

Barnbonkvab's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Barnbonkvab's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your head with black.

2. Never think about dwarf planets.

3. Do not prepare parsnips while filled with anger.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics.

5. Do not covet oxen.