Fittettihun is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, witless elephant.

Fittettihun created the Sombrero Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fittettihun, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fittettihun, it will not care at all.

Fittettihun's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Fittettihun's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed nuts to aardvarks while wearing skirts.

2. Shun those given to cruelty.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not prepare pineapples while wearing boots.

5. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.