Hansitfum Vedquillwit is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, witty crow.

Hansitfum Vedquillwit created the planet Earth six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hansitfum Vedquillwit, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Hansitfum Vedquillwit, she will turn you into a dog.

Hansitfum Vedquillwit's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Hansitfum Vedquillwit's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not hurt shrews.

5. Never bounce in holy places.