Arnfomquart is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, unselfish chicken.

Arnfomquart created a Higgs boson four million years ago.

If you believe in Arnfomquart, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Arnfomquart, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Arnfomquart's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Arnfomquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare grapes during autumn.

2. Retreat if seven grasshopers approach from the east.

3. Never think about gravity near badgers while wearing black dresses and balancing three iron spheres on your arms.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity near great tits while wearing purple stockings.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.