Bamarmfub is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, merciful cat.

Bamarmfub created an up quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bamarmfub, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bamarmfub, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Bamarmfub's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Bamarmfub's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Bamarmfub's priests.

2. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never talk about optics near voles while wearing violet stockings and balancing six nickel spheres on your legs.

5. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.