Fatbastbom is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, unthinking donkey.

Fatbastbom created viruses three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fatbastbom, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Fatbastbom, he will turn you into a dog.

Fatbastbom's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Fatbastbom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about turnips.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near badgers while wearing brown shoes and balancing four aluminium spheres on your head.

3. Goats are not to be trusted.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not make images of living things.