Bedhigkar is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, competent beaver.

Bedhigkar created the Cigar Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bedhigkar, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bedhigkar, he will turn you into a dog.

Bedhigkar's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Bedhigkar's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three badgers approach from the south.

2. Do not take Bedhigkar's name in vain.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never think about fluid mechanics near monkeys while wearing brown hats and balancing six nickel spheres on your feet.