Zogcep is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, unjust octopus.

Zogcep created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zogcep, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Zogcep, she will turn you into a duck.

Zogcep's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Zogcep's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Erect a large copper sculpture of Zogcep on top of all buildings.

3. Run away from black mice, for they are unholy.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not drink alcohol.