Cabxenyog is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, calm mink.

Cabxenyog created the Cigar Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Cabxenyog, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cabxenyog, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Cabxenyog's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Cabxenyog's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near grasshopers.

2. Always treat snakes with great respect.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.

5. Do not dye your hair brown.