Quagsatjamgatjopkip is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, bad-tempered ferret.

Quagsatjamgatjopkip created energy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quagsatjamgatjopkip, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Quagsatjamgatjopkip, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Quagsatjamgatjopkip's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Quagsatjamgatjopkip's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt voles.

2. Learn six new languages a year.

3. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Erect nine iron sculptures of Quagsatjamgatjopkip on top of important buildings.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.