Gardaplag is a god.
He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, uncaring
dove.
Gardaplag created a charm quark five million years ago.
If you believe in
Gardaplag, he will be happy.
If you do not believe in
Gardaplag, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.
Gardaplag's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.
Gardaplag's Holy Commandments1. Always pray immersed in water.
2. Always look after injured tapirs.
3. Never talk about eukaryotes.
4. Never talk about comets.
5. You must never eat spinach.