Naktikpak is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, thoughtless tapir.

Naktikpak created snails five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Naktikpak, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Naktikpak, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Naktikpak's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Naktikpak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing in public.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never think about fluid mechanics.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Never sit near sharks.