Bastfitzog is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, competent mole.

Bastfitzog created dark matter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bastfitzog, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bastfitzog, he will destroy your home planet.

Bastfitzog's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Bastfitzog's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.

3. Always treat goats with great respect.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not covet oxen.