Santarpkap is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, tiresome bear.

Santarpkap created a photon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Santarpkap, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Santarpkap, he will be very sad.

Santarpkap's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Santarpkap's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Retreat if seven ducks approach from the east.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Santarpkap.

5. Never talk about nebulae.