Geplarnsis is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, duplicitous octopus.

Geplarnsis created Mount Everest seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Geplarnsis, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Geplarnsis, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Geplarnsis' most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Geplarnsis' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.