Sandcennulnull Begfebwigquaf is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, idiotic monkey.

Sandcennulnull Begfebwigquaf created carbon six million years ago.

If you believe in Sandcennulnull Begfebwigquaf, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Sandcennulnull Begfebwigquaf, he will not invite you to parties.

Sandcennulnull Begfebwigquaf's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Sandcennulnull Begfebwigquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Sandcennulnull Begfebwigquaf.

2. Never hurt monkeys.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sandcennulnull Begfebwigquaf.

4. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.

5. You must never eat turnips.