Dumwigwot is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, wise donkey.

Dumwigwot created Europe four years ago.

If you believe in Dumwigwot, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dumwigwot, he will try to impress you with trees.

Dumwigwot's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Dumwigwot's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Dumwigwot in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Do not covet oxen.