Jonfumfun is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, bad-tempered coyote.

Jonfumfun created the Sombrero Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jonfumfun, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jonfumfun, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Jonfumfun's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Jonfumfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity near tapirs while wearing yellow skirts and balancing seven iron spheres on your head.

2. Never think about black holes.

3. Hide from indigo ducks for they are unholy.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not shave your arms.