Cipjennab is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, passionate goblin.

Cipjennab created parasitic wasps four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cipjennab, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cipjennab, he will destroy your home planet.

Cipjennab's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Cipjennab's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never write about spacetime.

4. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

5. Never feed cherries to sheep while wearing fawn stockings.