Lidontlen is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, generous wasp.

Lidontlen created the world six million years ago.

If you believe in Lidontlen, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lidontlen, it will make you grow a tail.

Lidontlen's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Lidontlen's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured seals.

2. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Lidontlen in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always make sure there are no mice in a building before entering it.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.