Bimdudsag Bogligpib is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, witty monkey.

Bimdudsag Bogligpib created viruses nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bimdudsag Bogligpib, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bimdudsag Bogligpib, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Bimdudsag Bogligpib's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Bimdudsag Bogligpib's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear white.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always stare at clouds.